Adoption...Adoption...

Adoption...it is all around me. Yet again this week a friend told me they are adopting, my pastor announced they are adopting again. I cried when my pastor announced it, I felt the sting of jealousy when my friend told me but yet here we are still at the talking and praying about it stage and it has been what 6 years now. It's not a matter of if but of when for me.

My quiet time yesterday talked about the idol of control always wanting to know what is next. That is so me, I so confess that I worship the idol of control. I am not saying that proudly I was very convicted of that yesterday and had to spend some time asking for forgiveness.

You can ask my parents when I was a little girl they would ask me what I wanted to do when I grew up and I would say "I want to run an orphanage". I am almost haunted by those words now and seriously think what did God lay on my heart at such a young age.

I am planning to go to China in the fall on a mission trip if Karl lets me that is (pray). I am going to visit and help out in the orphanages. I know it will be a very hard trip for my heart. I could hardly look at Leslie's pictures from her trip but I know this is something my heart wants to go through and is willing to go through.

Adoption...Adoption what a beautiful gift. My grandmother was given up for adoption during the depression. I asked her one time how that made her feel and she said "oh I was the lucky one, I would have starved to death had my parents not adopted me". My grandmother's birth mother died days after my grandmother was born of starvation. My grandmother was reunited with her siblings in her 60. Their stories were so sad. They said their memories of childhood were filled with the death of their mother, of watching a wealth family take away their baby sister and of being hungry all the time. I am so thankful for the family who adopted my grandmother and gave her a wonderful life.